I wouldn’t say that I directly compare myself to a single person. There is not a singular role model in my life, no perfect benchmark that I wish to emulate. I would however say that I compare myself to those that I am mildly jealous of. Every now and then I meet someone that makes me say “wow!”
For example, I have a friend that has truly grabbed life by the reigns. He comes from Australia, where he was once in the military. After serving his time he trained as a sky diving instructor. Through this work he has travelled the world, spending some time in England (where we met). He spent a year working in China prior to England, and is now working in Spain. When I knew him he was taking time out of his busy skydiving schedule to become a volunteer fire fighter. As he gained an interest in photography he moved from strictly taking people for jumps, to becoming a professional skydiving photographer.
I would be lying if I said that he doesn’t make me feel a little bad about myself. He knows what he wants to do in life, and he does it. He doesn’t stop to think of the reasons why not to do something, he just throws himself at it. There are two reasons I mention him. Firstly, I envy this ethos in life- to always be taking the next step forward in life, never becoming complacent with your current situation. Secondly, his presence as a benchmark. He is around my age, and so I find myself comparing my achievement to his; have I squandered my time? Am I currently on track for an unfulfilled life?
I think that when I consider myself in comparison to him that no, I am not doing all that I could be doing. I could be off seeing another country right now, or pursuing a career that I would find more fulfilling. Instead I am sat in my home, writing this. Is this bad? I don’t know. The most I can aspire to do is the best that I can in each scenario, based on the hand that I have been dealt. I cannot regret the actions of Past Vic, nor can I begrudge the selfish actions that Future Vic will likely take. Compared to the average person of my age, I am doing pretty well in life. I daresay others look on me as I look on my friend. I still compare myself to successful and interesting people that I meet, wondering why I can’t be more like them. That feeling is fleeting.